You date someone. You realise you don’t like them. You ghost them.
It’s easy, simple and effective. But enough of us have now been on the other side of it to know that being ghosted is actually horrible.
Has the other person stopped replying because you just said something
weird? Have they met someone new? Do they not actually like you? Have
they died?
We
often don’t explain our reasons for ending a relationship because it
can feel impossible to know what to say. How do you reject someone
kindly? What if they reply? And is there a non-awkward way to do it?
It
turns out there is. the perfect message to send someone instead of ghosting them.
"Hi, hope you're good. I really enjoyed getting to know you but if I'm honest, I'm not feeling a real connection between us. It was lovely meeting you."
Sending a kindly worded but clear text is likely to make you both feel better. Most people don’t find it easy to end a relationship or to take responsibility for the decision, which is why they end up 'ghosting'. We tend to avoid difficult situations because we don’t want other people to think badly of us.
"I wanted to say that I really enjoyed us chatting and I would love to see you again, but for me it would be as friends. Not sure if you would be keen for that?"
Final Thoughts
Keep this in mind for Next year
Thinking about dumping someone? Do it before December 17th*
"Tbh it's been fun hanging out lately but I don't think we're meant to be a couple".
"To
be honest" is a good way to deliver unwelcome news, while "I don't
think we're meant to be a couple" is more gentle than some of the
alternatives."
"Hi, hope you're good. I really enjoyed getting to know you but if I'm honest, I'm not feeling a real connection between us. It was lovely meeting you."
Sending a kindly worded but clear text is likely to make you both feel better. Most people don’t find it easy to end a relationship or to take responsibility for the decision, which is why they end up 'ghosting'. We tend to avoid difficult situations because we don’t want other people to think badly of us.
"I wanted to say that I really enjoyed us chatting and I would love to see you again, but for me it would be as friends. Not sure if you would be keen for that?"
I actually received this text from a guy recently, and it was the best rejection I’ve ever had! I wasn’t angry or upset.
I respected him for having the balls to say it - rather than just ghost me - and it was so eloquent I was fine with it.
"I feel we aren't compatible and this relationship isn't working for me. So I'd like to end all further communication and wish you the best in the future."
A short, matter of fact note is best. Leaving no suggestion you’re open to changing your mind and making it perfectly clear these are your choices and you’re happy to own them without further debate. While nobody likes rejection, knowing where you stand is better in the long run.
"Hey (name) thanks for meeting me yesterday. I'm pretty sure you feel the same, but I didn't feel a romantic connection. Always awkward to be the first to say, but didn't want to be one of those [ghosts]."
This message takes full responsibility and makes it clear you don’t want to see them again, rather than something like "Maybe we can meet again at some undisclosed point in the future."
"I feel we aren't compatible and this relationship isn't working for me. So I'd like to end all further communication and wish you the best in the future."
A short, matter of fact note is best. Leaving no suggestion you’re open to changing your mind and making it perfectly clear these are your choices and you’re happy to own them without further debate. While nobody likes rejection, knowing where you stand is better in the long run.
"Hey (name) thanks for meeting me yesterday. I'm pretty sure you feel the same, but I didn't feel a romantic connection. Always awkward to be the first to say, but didn't want to be one of those [ghosts]."
This message takes full responsibility and makes it clear you don’t want to see them again, rather than something like "Maybe we can meet again at some undisclosed point in the future."
Which text would you use?
Final Thoughts
Keep this in mind for Next year
Thinking about dumping someone? Do it before December 17th*
’17th December seems
reasonable. I feel like Christmas starts on the 21st so that’s a good
amount of leeway – otherwise you have to wait until the 3rd of January.’
giphy-3
She’s right of course. Only a monster would dump someone between 21st
December and 3rd January.
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
’17th December seems reasonable. I feel like Christmas starts on the 21st so that’s a good amount of leeway – otherwise you have to wait until the 3rd of January.’ Only a monster would dump someone between 21st December and 3rd January.Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
Thinking about dumping someone? Do it before December 17th*
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
Thinking about dumping someone? Do it before December 17th*
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2016/12/06/thinking-about-dumping-someone-do-it-before-december-17th-6298124/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/
